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| Alexia Rose |
Lexi
Rose…
It’s taken me
a very long time to get to a place where I can even begin to contemplate putting
this post down on paper. I’ve composed
this in my mind over and over during the last three years, and I’m still not
sure it’s going to come out right.
Three years
ago today, our first grandchild was born.
We knew going in that she had a multitude of medical issues that
threatened her survival, but her awesome, devoted, and loving parents were
committed to giving her every possible chance to live. That, despite the “advice” of the “medical
professionals”, that they had “other options” (read: abortion) to deal with the
situation. When that was first broached
as an “option”, Lexi’s parents made it abundantly clear that their daughter,
who was still in utero, was God’s
creation, that no one had the right to end her life, and that it was just not
an “option”. The “option” was not
discussed further.
Three years
ago tomorrow, our first grandchild was ushered into the presence of Jesus. Lexi lived 13 hours, defying the doctor’s
predictions that she would not make it to the NICU. She not only made it to the NICU, but fought
for life for 13 hours. In the end, the
diaphragmatic hernia on her right side prevented her right lung from
developing, and she was just not able to get enough oxygen to live. The other medical issues she had certainly
did not help matters.
Lexi’s
life—nine months in utero—as well as
those precious 13 hours, impacted literally hundreds of people. People saw how my two kids faced the most
difficult situation a parent could face, how they faced it with a full and firm
trust in the Lord, how they relied upon him to sustain them, how they depended
on him completely. They prayed…oh, how
they prayed, as did my wife and I, our other children, and our friends and our church
family. Others who saw the Facebook page
our daughter created for Lexi prayed with us too, including people we did not
know.
Our theology
informs how we live, how we “see” what happens to us and around us, it informs
how we face difficulty, and how we rejoice in the good things of life. We believe that God is sovereign over his
entire universe, that “The earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof, the
world and those who dwell therein,
for he has founded it upon the seas and established it upon the rivers.” (Psalm
24:1-2, emphasis added)
Lexi is his. He
knew her before the foundation of time. She
was his from the moment of conception, and she is his now in heaven. We understand that the Lord loaned her to her
parents for a short time. In that short
time, the Lord used her life for his own glory.
People’s lives were touched.
People saw my kids exercising their faith. People were pointed to Jesus. Pointing people to Jesus and glorifying God is
why true believers exist. It’s all about
him, and not at all about us. God’s
glory is what matters. Some might
disagree with those statements. But those
would be people who just do not understand because they do not have a saving
relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
Once the gospel of grace grips an individual’s heart, then and only then
can one understand that God’s glory is paramount. His glory is what drives my preaching and
teaching.
Certainly,
none of us ever conceived such a thing could touch our lives. We’ve weathered many a storm, all the while
resting on the Rock of our salvation, and this chain of events in our lives was
no different. We rested in the Lord and
in him alone. No one on earth can provide
that kind of strength, courage, love, and encouragement. Only the Lord can meet such needs in times of
trouble (Psalm 37:39). Our God does
certainly reign and he sits on his holy throne! (Psalm 47:8)
The Lord has
seen my family through so many trials—they are too numerous to count. Always he was faithful. Always he was gracious. Always he was merciful. Always he is faithful, he is
gracious, and he is merciful. His
steadfast love endures forever and forever.
(Psalm 86:15)
Grief is a
constant visitor. Grief invades our
hearts and minds, threatening to take us down.
All the while, God is at work in us, providing the strength, love and encouragement
we need to get through it all. In the
midst of the grief, his sanctifying work redeems our disappointment and anguish. Our attention is turned—by him—to his
steadfast love, his compassion, and his grace in our lives.
What happened
with Lexi did not “just happen”. There
was no “coincidence”. What happened was
not “bad luck” or “a fluke”. It was not
something for which “Mother Nature” was responsible. No, none of those worldly explanations. What happened with Lexi was by divine
decree. God determined from before the
foundation of time what would happen with her.
Do we “hear”
God’s decrees? No. Do we understand the “why”
of them? No. Can we wrap our heads around what God’s
design was? No. Does God owe us an explanation? Absolutely not. We walk by faith and not by
sight—period. (2 Corinthians 5:7) Easy? Certainly
not always. But because of what Jesus
did on the cross our behalf, we are enabled by him to do just that—to walk by
faith.
John Piper encourages
true believers to allow pain to make us serious, vigilant, and humble. I know from experience that we all need to
recognize that the Lord is sanctifying us—with the trials as well as with the
joyful things of life. And we join with
Paul, when he says,
18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time
are not worth comparing
with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
(Romans 8:18 ESV)
Soli Deo Gloria
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